I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
