He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
