Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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