so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize