Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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