i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
