With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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