That's intense
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
