I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
