But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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