last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
