Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
