just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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