I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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