How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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