He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
