areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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