he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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