oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
