can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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