the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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