Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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