i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
