i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
