we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
