Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
