if i died would you start the facebook group?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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