Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
