I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's never too late to be topless.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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