Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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