Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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