Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
