I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
