well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
