No awkward lesbian experiences without me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
