The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
