is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
