Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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