She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
