If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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