Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
