so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
