im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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