Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
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I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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