When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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