I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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