captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Someone shattered a urinal.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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