he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
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He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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