i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
