My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
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