I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
