he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
