brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
