Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
