she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
