i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
