Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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