So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
