CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
