i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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