Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
my poor anus
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
