the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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