just come out here and I will go home with you...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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