If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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