normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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