Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
