it hurts more in the daytime
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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