I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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