In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
