Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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